Distraction

I am not sure what I am going to post here. I just thought I would try blogging and see if I like it. I am not even sure what to do. Today has been a total distraction day. I can't seem to keep my mind on one thing at a time. I keep going from one thing to the next. I have been goofy and weird all day. I am tired but I cannot fall asleep. All I am wanting to do is write in my journal. I just can't focus enough to do it. I am so desperatly wanting to change my attitudes and life. I guess I just want to work on it and make the changes that are needed. Changes are hard and slow. I am getting very bored being at home all the time. Yet I am afraid to go out and meet people again. I don't want to go threw another experience of someone chasing me just because they are obesessed with me. This really effected me. I am afraid to even get close to men again. I would rather stay at home then to experience this again. I do miss being around people. I think when I find a job and I have money to spend I will start going out again. I am trying to break out of the barrel but it is hard. One day I go full force. The next day I want to hide. I am hoping this roller coaster will soon be over. I want to feel like myself again.